Mom, thank you for allowing me to love you and serve you over these last ten months. It has been truly an honor and blessing to have joined you along in this journey. I can't say enough about how amazing our family were in rising to the occassion to honor you in this way. The Lord gave us a tough assignment but we took each moment by moment.
You have no more...
meds
dialysis
nurses & doctors (their unemployed in heaven)
pain
Prostate (ask Mom about that later...)
artifical knees
Your whole and complete now Mom.
Thank you again for being such an amazing Mom to the family and me. Words can't begin to express what you've given me.
I love you to the core of my being for how amazing you have been in my life.
Lovingly Your Son,
Rodney
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Thank You!
Thank you! Mom your amazing and we love you so much! Mom has decided to discontinue dialysis. It will now just be a matter of time before she will be home with the Lord. Mom has taught me so much through this journey I can't even begin to describe it in words here. I will write more as this week unfolds but for now our family would love to hear from you. If you have any stories, special moments with Mom or words of encouragement we would love for you to share them. Mom now has her own blog where you can post your own comments. Click on this link and you will be taken to her blog where you can share your stories, memories and words of encouragement. We would love for you to be able to share in this journey with us. Thanks again for your continued love, prayers and support during this time.Vera Corey Blog
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mother's Day
It's the morning of Mother's Day. Today will be a very special day with Mom and our family together for what will be my last Mother's Day with Mom. The gift that she has given me to be able to love and care for her during this time will make the most lasting and profound impact on me. I'm going to savor every moment today. I pray that it will be a good day and that Mom will feel love and support in a way that she has never experienced before. My head is pretty cloudy. I was able to get away for the night and get some rest. It's hard to not to want to be around Mom all the time now because each moment is fleeting and when I hug, kiss or just love on Mom I never know if that could be the last time. All I do know for sure is that God let us have Mom for this special day and I'm grateful. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM ! I LOVE YOU !
Friday, May 11, 2007
Don't Know What To Say
Mom has started to say her goodbye's as family and friends come to visit her. Mom will discontinue dialysis over the course of the next few days. I'm not sure what to say or how to feel about her situation. I was laying on the coach the other night just watching family gather around the kitchen table and other places through the house. I just wanted to freeze time and capture the moment and savor it for all that it was worth.
I will write more I'm just completely exhausted. The next few days will probably be the hardest experience I will have to face for someone I love so dearly. This Mother's Day will be extra special.
I will write more I'm just completely exhausted. The next few days will probably be the hardest experience I will have to face for someone I love so dearly. This Mother's Day will be extra special.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
It's In Her Eyes
I can't sleep and I'm restless tonight. It's hard to to see this look on my Mom but her eyes say it all. She's in transition and awaiting her appointed time. I'm not ready but once again I'm trying to remember this is not about me and has never been. I'm sleeping (or trying to) with my window open for the first time this year. Once again a reminder that the seasons are transitioning and more so in my life than just leaves budding or flowers blooming. This new season that is approaching can't be marked by a calendar or clock.
As much as Mom is anxious and fearful I also share the same sentiment. For once in my almost thirty-five years of life I will now have no living parents. I will still have family which I am thankful for greatly. However, there will be a void that will be impossible to fill. This support system will not be at my own disposal. My life is changing right before my very eyes and I'm having a real hard time in dealing with my Mom not being a part of my life. She has been my everything to me.
It's going on almost 2:30 in the morning and my eyes are getting heavy. I will try and get some sleep before another morning comes. I'm trying to do my best to keep it together. Mom told me I need to be brave just the other day. Wow! That's a word I haven't heard from my Mom since I was a kid. I'm trying my best to keep it together and be strong for Mom. I feel I'm almost at my breaking point and when that time comes I'm going to fall hard.
Spring is one of Mom's favorite times of the year. Today we sat on the porch and literally could almost watch the little green buds push their way open to create this new canvas of leaves on the trees. Mom's eyes say it all...she is looking forward to her new season. Her new season also can't be found on a calendar or clock either.
As much as Mom is anxious and fearful I also share the same sentiment. For once in my almost thirty-five years of life I will now have no living parents. I will still have family which I am thankful for greatly. However, there will be a void that will be impossible to fill. This support system will not be at my own disposal. My life is changing right before my very eyes and I'm having a real hard time in dealing with my Mom not being a part of my life. She has been my everything to me.
It's going on almost 2:30 in the morning and my eyes are getting heavy. I will try and get some sleep before another morning comes. I'm trying to do my best to keep it together. Mom told me I need to be brave just the other day. Wow! That's a word I haven't heard from my Mom since I was a kid. I'm trying my best to keep it together and be strong for Mom. I feel I'm almost at my breaking point and when that time comes I'm going to fall hard.
Spring is one of Mom's favorite times of the year. Today we sat on the porch and literally could almost watch the little green buds push their way open to create this new canvas of leaves on the trees. Mom's eyes say it all...she is looking forward to her new season. Her new season also can't be found on a calendar or clock either.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Arm Wrestling With God
I've been wanting to put some thoughts down for over a month now. The last few weeks have been hard to say the least. I'm wearing myself out arm wrestling with God. It's been difficult to explain or even understand for that matter but lately I've become bitter with how this journey is ending. I'm new to this journal online thing and I feel a bit vulnerable with being so open and honest with feelings but I guess that's what is part of the process.
Since my last post in April Mom's health and over-all quality of life has deteriorated considerably. Her apetite has become almost non-existent because it is hard for her to swallow and her stomach is almost constantly creating naseau. About three weeks ago we converted the living room and moved in a hospital bed. It was hard to see the realities of this make-shift bedroom. Fortunately Mom's sleep has improved somewhat since this transition.
Mom has come to the realization of her condition and how it is not improving. One of the dialysis Dr.'s explained it well when she said how one of the goals of dialysis is to help maintain and improve one's quality of life. Mom is having a difficult time with deciding when to discontinue dialysis. She understands that once she stops treatment her time will be short. Unfotunately the reality is, that time is near.
Recently Mom has expressed that she is not sure how much longer she will be able to endure dialysis treatments. The bottom line is Mom is tired and she feels she has had enough. We talked about this over the weekend and I expressed my concern that it would be a great gift if Mom could enjoy one more Mother's Day with us. As I write this on the Monday night of the week of Mother's Day, we are now full embracing each day as a gift. Mom has chosen to enudure dialysis this week so that Lord willing if possible we can be together one more Mother's Day as a family. By this weekend we will see where things are at and then Mom will make some decisions and choices as to what the future timeline will unfold.
I have been bitter with God a lot lately. I don't recommend arm wrestling with God but I would be lying if I didn't confess that we've been doing a lot of wrestling. I know I'm not suposed to be questioning God and all but it's been real hard to embrace this season when all the while Mom and myself have been praying for other end results.
I understand that this is just a season I'm experiencing during this stage but I must be candid that this is what I'm struggling with right now. Fortunately I just recieved in the mail today from Amazon.com some books that I've ordered. Henri Nouwen is my all-time favorite author and he has written a number of amazing books. One of the books is entitled The Greatest Gift which is a meditation about caring and dying. I haven't had a chance to read it yet because as soon as it came in the mail today my brother Ray picked up and hasn't put it down yet. The other book, again by the same author is entitled In Memoriam This book is an intimate reflection on the loss of Henri Nouwen's mother. I was blown away by the fact that he had written about book about the loss of his Mom.
I'm looking forward to digging into these books over the next few days. Through his insight and reflection I'm hoping to be able to process this bitter stage that I'm fighting with right now with God. On the back cover of In Memoriam is a quote that caught my attention it says...
"When a mother or father dies, the mystery of life reveals itself to us. It is precisely in the moments when we are most human, most in touch with what binds us together, that we discover the hidden depth of life." ---Henri J.M. Nouwen
Since my last post in April Mom's health and over-all quality of life has deteriorated considerably. Her apetite has become almost non-existent because it is hard for her to swallow and her stomach is almost constantly creating naseau. About three weeks ago we converted the living room and moved in a hospital bed. It was hard to see the realities of this make-shift bedroom. Fortunately Mom's sleep has improved somewhat since this transition.
Mom has come to the realization of her condition and how it is not improving. One of the dialysis Dr.'s explained it well when she said how one of the goals of dialysis is to help maintain and improve one's quality of life. Mom is having a difficult time with deciding when to discontinue dialysis. She understands that once she stops treatment her time will be short. Unfotunately the reality is, that time is near.
Recently Mom has expressed that she is not sure how much longer she will be able to endure dialysis treatments. The bottom line is Mom is tired and she feels she has had enough. We talked about this over the weekend and I expressed my concern that it would be a great gift if Mom could enjoy one more Mother's Day with us. As I write this on the Monday night of the week of Mother's Day, we are now full embracing each day as a gift. Mom has chosen to enudure dialysis this week so that Lord willing if possible we can be together one more Mother's Day as a family. By this weekend we will see where things are at and then Mom will make some decisions and choices as to what the future timeline will unfold.
I have been bitter with God a lot lately. I don't recommend arm wrestling with God but I would be lying if I didn't confess that we've been doing a lot of wrestling. I know I'm not suposed to be questioning God and all but it's been real hard to embrace this season when all the while Mom and myself have been praying for other end results.
I understand that this is just a season I'm experiencing during this stage but I must be candid that this is what I'm struggling with right now. Fortunately I just recieved in the mail today from Amazon.com some books that I've ordered. Henri Nouwen is my all-time favorite author and he has written a number of amazing books. One of the books is entitled The Greatest Gift which is a meditation about caring and dying. I haven't had a chance to read it yet because as soon as it came in the mail today my brother Ray picked up and hasn't put it down yet. The other book, again by the same author is entitled In Memoriam This book is an intimate reflection on the loss of Henri Nouwen's mother. I was blown away by the fact that he had written about book about the loss of his Mom.
I'm looking forward to digging into these books over the next few days. Through his insight and reflection I'm hoping to be able to process this bitter stage that I'm fighting with right now with God. On the back cover of In Memoriam is a quote that caught my attention it says...
"When a mother or father dies, the mystery of life reveals itself to us. It is precisely in the moments when we are most human, most in touch with what binds us together, that we discover the hidden depth of life." ---Henri J.M. Nouwen
I'm sure that I will be processing a lot more in the upcoming days. It's hard to be wrestling with God during this time. I'm hoping that this is just one part of the grieving process. Even in the midst of all of this, Mom continues to be so amazing. Her endurance and stamina continually amaze me.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Tribute To Mom At The Event 2007
Mom was honored at East Auburn's Easter production The Event. Below is a link to the photos from the tribute that was shared by many family and friends on March 31, 2007.
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| Easter 2007 The Event |
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