Just sort of a little diversion from the normal post. I'm so thankful for music and movies.
I just saw probably one of the most spirit filled movies since Passion of The Christ and your not going to believe what it is. Bridge To Terabithia I know call me crazy but once again Walden Media have hit a home run with this feature film. I love it when I attend a movie and sort of have no expections which was the case with this flick. I was blown away by the message and depth of this film.
Portable Sounds from TobyMac just landed and first this thing this am my iTunes found itself downloading it. All I can say is WOW ! Great album and I've only heard one time so far. Here is the iTunes link TobyMac Portable Sounds
Thank you God for creativity and artists that take the vision to reality!
I've needed these two things in my life this week more than words can express here.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Thank You...
The previous night I was a bit nervous and anxious about how it would go. Thank you God for peace and comfort.
Mom had a great break through today. As I was putting her to bed she pushed herself up off the bed on her own and was free standing with no assistance. I think she even surprised herself. That was a very encouraging shot in the arm for her in lifting her spirits.
We are having quite the major snow storm today and this evening I would say almost one foot of snow already and more is on the way from what they say. I'm beat tonight and need to get some sleep. I just wanted to express my gratitude and thankfulness for God's hand of providence.
Mom had a great break through today. As I was putting her to bed she pushed herself up off the bed on her own and was free standing with no assistance. I think she even surprised herself. That was a very encouraging shot in the arm for her in lifting her spirits.
We are having quite the major snow storm today and this evening I would say almost one foot of snow already and more is on the way from what they say. I'm beat tonight and need to get some sleep. I just wanted to express my gratitude and thankfulness for God's hand of providence.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Hold My Hand
As I'm anxious for the hours ahead that will carry us to the morning I prayed with Mom tonight and lifted her up and asked that her night of rest will be an extension of her worship to you. As I was looking through her bible this evening I came accross a poem that her dear friend and cousin Edna gave her. It was taped in the back of her bible it is entitled HOLD MY HAND
HOLD MY HAND
Hold my hand, Lord,
Walk me throug the lonliness
And the valley of my sorrow.
Hold onto me when I'm too afraid
To tink about tomorrow,
Let me lean on you Lord,
When I'm too weary to go on.
Hold my hand, Lord
Through the night,
Until I see the light of dawn.
I was anxious tonight because Mom is already having a little bit harder time to breath due to CHF (congestive heart failure). This always get me nervous about what the long night ahead will bring. Tonight Mom and me prayed together bedside and we thanked the Lord that He had taken her cough away and provided comfort and relief. We prayed that the giver of life that enables each breath; to come down and massage her heart and make it work well so that she can rest and sleep as best she can through the night. May God be the one tonight to fill her lungs and body with His breath.
Our prayer was short and simple. However, this prayer is in action even as I type this tonight at 9:48 PM. Only 9 more hours to go. We are asked to be anxious for nothing and give up anything and everything in prayer. These words spoken tonight were not for just comfort and hope but also for action and peace of mind. Thank you for helping us get through tonight. May my Mom's heart beat extra special on this eve of Valentine's Day. Give Mom a good nights sleep tonight God. May those times when I'm anxious and restless please help me to be reminded of the action that is place and that your presence is here and your even in the next room with her guiding each breath and heart beat. I've given it up to you tonight God. Please help me to take assurance and confidence of that fact that your in complete control. Isaih 40 all the way tonight God....renew my Mom's strength tonight....renew my strenth...AMEN !
Thanks for reminding me that prayer is not passive...it's action. You are holding my hand tonight....Thank you!
HOLD MY HAND
Hold my hand, Lord,
Walk me throug the lonliness
And the valley of my sorrow.
Hold onto me when I'm too afraid
To tink about tomorrow,
Let me lean on you Lord,
When I'm too weary to go on.
Hold my hand, Lord
Through the night,
Until I see the light of dawn.
I was anxious tonight because Mom is already having a little bit harder time to breath due to CHF (congestive heart failure). This always get me nervous about what the long night ahead will bring. Tonight Mom and me prayed together bedside and we thanked the Lord that He had taken her cough away and provided comfort and relief. We prayed that the giver of life that enables each breath; to come down and massage her heart and make it work well so that she can rest and sleep as best she can through the night. May God be the one tonight to fill her lungs and body with His breath.
Our prayer was short and simple. However, this prayer is in action even as I type this tonight at 9:48 PM. Only 9 more hours to go. We are asked to be anxious for nothing and give up anything and everything in prayer. These words spoken tonight were not for just comfort and hope but also for action and peace of mind. Thank you for helping us get through tonight. May my Mom's heart beat extra special on this eve of Valentine's Day. Give Mom a good nights sleep tonight God. May those times when I'm anxious and restless please help me to be reminded of the action that is place and that your presence is here and your even in the next room with her guiding each breath and heart beat. I've given it up to you tonight God. Please help me to take assurance and confidence of that fact that your in complete control. Isaih 40 all the way tonight God....renew my Mom's strength tonight....renew my strenth...AMEN !
Thanks for reminding me that prayer is not passive...it's action. You are holding my hand tonight....Thank you!
Friday, February 9, 2007
Be Here Now
Mom has been doing a bit better since returning from the hospital a week ago today. We are trying to get her nutrition under control and to really pump the calories and protein in her. She's been a bit discouraged because her strength is very slow in returning. She at times feels defeated because she does not have the freedom of mobility and heavily relies on others to help her get around. I hope that with her increased appetite the strength will come in time.
I'm learning to do my best with the attitude I call "Be Here Now". Since Mom has been home this is probably the weakest I've seen her and she pretty much relies on me almost on a full time basis. There are times she will get me up in the night 2 to 3 times at random hours just because she is hungry, restless or in some sort of discomfort. It's been hard to adjust but I'm learning to do my best in adjusting with the lack of sound sleep I've been getting over the last week or so. I'm grateful that I've been available to be used during this season with my Mom. Our times of laughter, love, and just being present for her have been so amazing. I would not trade this time for anything. I was reminded even again yesterday that I will look back on this season and have no regret for the rich moment and season we shared together.
I can't help but be sad in hearing of the recent news on Anna Nicole Smith and her death. I try and stay on top of things when coming to pop culture. I feel more sad for how her five month old daughter will not have a parent figure to "Be Here Now" for them. Her mysterious death was very self centered and in my opinion very selfish. Once again the media circus find it in the public's best interest to saturate its air waves with the importance (in their opinion) of this event. The reason why I even make reference to this media story is more for the sake of my own self realization of how selfish I was with my own time before this health situation with my Mom became full blown.
I am so not used to staying home day in and day out with just barely anything real productive to do other than being present and supporting my Mom the best way I know how. I used to at best check in with my Mom two to three times a week and do my best in visiting her when I only lived at that time an hour away. A lot has changed in the last six months and I'm thankful for the teachable moments that have brought me to this place and time with my Mom.
I'm learning to do my best with the attitude I call "Be Here Now". Since Mom has been home this is probably the weakest I've seen her and she pretty much relies on me almost on a full time basis. There are times she will get me up in the night 2 to 3 times at random hours just because she is hungry, restless or in some sort of discomfort. It's been hard to adjust but I'm learning to do my best in adjusting with the lack of sound sleep I've been getting over the last week or so. I'm grateful that I've been available to be used during this season with my Mom. Our times of laughter, love, and just being present for her have been so amazing. I would not trade this time for anything. I was reminded even again yesterday that I will look back on this season and have no regret for the rich moment and season we shared together.
I can't help but be sad in hearing of the recent news on Anna Nicole Smith and her death. I try and stay on top of things when coming to pop culture. I feel more sad for how her five month old daughter will not have a parent figure to "Be Here Now" for them. Her mysterious death was very self centered and in my opinion very selfish. Once again the media circus find it in the public's best interest to saturate its air waves with the importance (in their opinion) of this event. The reason why I even make reference to this media story is more for the sake of my own self realization of how selfish I was with my own time before this health situation with my Mom became full blown.
I am so not used to staying home day in and day out with just barely anything real productive to do other than being present and supporting my Mom the best way I know how. I used to at best check in with my Mom two to three times a week and do my best in visiting her when I only lived at that time an hour away. A lot has changed in the last six months and I'm thankful for the teachable moments that have brought me to this place and time with my Mom.
Friday, February 2, 2007
So What's This All About?
I've done some journaling in my life and have enjoyed being able to process some of my thoughts and journeys in a more private arena. Lately I have been able to read some of my friends blog's and I see how articulate and well written and put together they are and I tend to get a little intimidated by their way with words. This has kept me from posting blogs I guess cause in a way I feel that I don't have much to say or if I did why would anyone want to take the time to read it in the first place. I honestly don't know what to think of this blog thing. I like reading other peoples but to think that I have may have something to say or for others to engage in what I'm going through seems pretty crazy to me.
So I have no idea what this blog thing is going to be like for me so I thought well I'll give it a shot and see where it takes me. Like I said I've done journaling before but for the most part those entries have been for my eyes only. I'm going to sort of take you throught the past which has now brought me to the present. Well with that said here I go.
It's A Matter Of The Heart. This is my blog about my journey with my Mom and her struggling with congestive heart failure and her journey of kidney failure which has led to dialysis four times a week. I'm going to use the blog to share with you all the challenges we have been through together over the last six months. This has been and continues to be a day to day adventure. I see each day as a gift with her. So let me bring you up to speed as to what has brought us to this process together.
I moved back in with my Mom back in July of 2006 and became her primary care giver. My four older brothers are around and help a lot but I've taken on the roll to be with her as much as I can on a daily basis. She has to go to dialysis four times a week. We started with only having to go three times but due to some further complications Mom is needing a little jump start in order to get her through the weekend. So she goes in on Saturday's for a two hour mini-dialysis.
I'm so blessed to have such an amazing Mom she continues to be such an inspiration and source of encouragement to me. I aim to give a voice to this journey that I've been on with her over the last six months. As much of a journey that this has been for my Mom and me together in dealing with her sickness, this has also been a reawkening of sorts for me as I also process and deal with some healing of my own. I'm not a very disciplined person so this blog will be hard for me to keep updated and on-going for that matter, but I'll do my best. So I'm going to hit publish now and my first blog will be live and if anything I'll atleast I will see it...It's A Matter of The Heart will reflect not only my Mom's congestive heart failure (CHF) and kidney disease but also my own heart's journey with her.
So I have no idea what this blog thing is going to be like for me so I thought well I'll give it a shot and see where it takes me. Like I said I've done journaling before but for the most part those entries have been for my eyes only. I'm going to sort of take you throught the past which has now brought me to the present. Well with that said here I go.
It's A Matter Of The Heart. This is my blog about my journey with my Mom and her struggling with congestive heart failure and her journey of kidney failure which has led to dialysis four times a week. I'm going to use the blog to share with you all the challenges we have been through together over the last six months. This has been and continues to be a day to day adventure. I see each day as a gift with her. So let me bring you up to speed as to what has brought us to this process together.
I moved back in with my Mom back in July of 2006 and became her primary care giver. My four older brothers are around and help a lot but I've taken on the roll to be with her as much as I can on a daily basis. She has to go to dialysis four times a week. We started with only having to go three times but due to some further complications Mom is needing a little jump start in order to get her through the weekend. So she goes in on Saturday's for a two hour mini-dialysis.
I'm so blessed to have such an amazing Mom she continues to be such an inspiration and source of encouragement to me. I aim to give a voice to this journey that I've been on with her over the last six months. As much of a journey that this has been for my Mom and me together in dealing with her sickness, this has also been a reawkening of sorts for me as I also process and deal with some healing of my own. I'm not a very disciplined person so this blog will be hard for me to keep updated and on-going for that matter, but I'll do my best. So I'm going to hit publish now and my first blog will be live and if anything I'll atleast I will see it...It's A Matter of The Heart will reflect not only my Mom's congestive heart failure (CHF) and kidney disease but also my own heart's journey with her.
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