Be Here Now

Mom has been doing a bit better since returning from the hospital a week ago today. We are trying to get her nutrition under control and to really pump the calories and protein in her. She's been a bit discouraged because her strength is very slow in returning. She at times feels defeated because she does not have the freedom of mobility and heavily relies on others to help her get around. I hope that with her increased appetite the strength will come in time.

I'm learning to do my best with the attitude I call "Be Here Now". Since Mom has been home this is probably the weakest I've seen her and she pretty much relies on me almost on a full time basis. There are times she will get me up in the night 2 to 3 times at random hours just because she is hungry, restless or in some sort of discomfort. It's been hard to adjust but I'm learning to do my best in adjusting with the lack of sound sleep I've been getting over the last week or so. I'm grateful that I've been available to be used during this season with my Mom. Our times of laughter, love, and just being present for her have been so amazing. I would not trade this time for anything. I was reminded even again yesterday that I will look back on this season and have no regret for the rich moment and season we shared together.

I can't help but be sad in hearing of the recent news on Anna Nicole Smith and her death. I try and stay on top of things when coming to pop culture. I feel more sad for how her five month old daughter will not have a parent figure to "Be Here Now" for them. Her mysterious death was very self centered and in my opinion very selfish. Once again the media circus find it in the public's best interest to saturate its air waves with the importance (in their opinion) of this event. The reason why I even make reference to this media story is more for the sake of my own self realization of how selfish I was with my own time before this health situation with my Mom became full blown.

I am so not used to staying home day in and day out with just barely anything real productive to do other than being present and supporting my Mom the best way I know how. I used to at best check in with my Mom two to three times a week and do my best in visiting her when I only lived at that time an hour away. A lot has changed in the last six months and I'm thankful for the teachable moments that have brought me to this place and time with my Mom.